ncmcjm's Posts

We have rules for our 16 yr old.  When she first got her cellphone a year ago we didnt have any rules except that we would randomly check her phone.  That lead to finding things on it that shouldnt be.  That lead to rules that she didnt like and we have battled over the phone since.  She just recently got the phone back with rules and she is not allowed to erase txts and I do compare them to online.  We do check her phone too and make sure all the txts are appropriate.  We have picture messaging blocked since she has sent one bad picture of herself.  She doesnt understand why even after we explain it to her.  She doesnt understand why she isnt allowed to sext. Teens dont understand what can happen so we monitor it.  I want her to carry a phone so we can get a hold of her at all times and if she ends up in a bad situation she can get a hold of us.  Also she has numbers that are blocked so she isnt txting anyone we dont want her to.  We have talked to her about many things but sometimes it isnt enough and you have to really know what they are doing and who they are doing it with.  I have been told we are too strict and that iif they want to do somehting they will find a way.  That is fine I cant control her every second but these things will not happen where I can control them.  She knows how we feel about things and if she chooses to ignore she will have to deal with the consequences.     My 12yrold has a phone too but we check it sometimes.  I dont worry yet about him because he only txts me and his dad.  But when I feel like it is needed more supervision will be added to his phone too!  

They cant see them online.  But they can take your phone and physically check it!  That is what we do with my stepdaughters.  Personally if it isnt something you want your parents to see you should not be txting it!  We check now because we have found inappropriate txts on her phone.  So she knows we check it.  I pay for the phone so feel it is ok to do this.  I know not everyone will agree with it.

My stepdaughter is 16 so I know how you feel.  What we do is tell her she cannot delete txts from her phone.  We monitor it which is alot of work but at least we know when she is doing something wrong.  We have caught her a few times deleting and she has had her phone taken for it.  What I do is check the amount of messages she has for the day and compare to online and see if they match.  After checking the number of txts and the txts themselves we delete them so the next day starts fresh.  We also use the usage controls so she cant txt during school and at night when she is doing homework and sleeping.  Hope that helps.  It is alot of work to keep up with the teens these days!

This was my concern too because I would like to do this for school when it starts.  My stepdaughter does know how to disable it so we are going to have to come up with a punishment for turning it off when we put it on her phone!  I do use usage controls so that is an option!  So I would suggest using that as punishment!