Today I really shattered my iPhone 5.  At the gym - it fell out of my locker.  It was a mess.  Good thing there's a Verizon Wireless store right by my office.

I hurried over to the Verizon Wireless store on 42nd Street in Manhattan - the Bryant Park location - and showed them the remains of my phone.  They looked me up and learned I'm not due for an upgrade for a few months, so they gave me a card with an 800# to call and wished me well.  They weren't rude or anything, but they just aren't there to help existing customers.  I asked if I could borrow a phone, and they said I could use any of the live phones on display to call the 800#, which felt very weird.  The store wasn't busy, and I didn't understand why nobody offered a loaner or would to help me get a suitable replacement.    @bryant_park

Disappointed, I returned to my office to begin the paperwork and multiple phone calls involved in ordering an insurance replacement from Asurion.  It's not an easy process;  it requires using a printer and scanning documents.  Asurion must have a lot of fraud because they're very weird about threatening prosecution if you lie to them.  Classy. 

I am expecting to receive what I think will be a refurbished phone tomorrow between 8 and 5.  Guess I'll stay home.  I have my doubts as UPS has no tracking information, but I am hoping for the best.

I have since learned that this store I visited isn't actually a "Verizon Wireless direct" store - it's just a licensed dealer.  So in a nutshell they only care about selling new phones, not about helping existing Verizon customers.  If you're an existing customer looking for a replacement, you might as well be at a DMV with expensive lighting.  The only difference is that the DMV can actually help you.   I called Verizon Wireless, but I'm not their problem either - this is between me and Asurion.  The nice lady wished me luck, and I am going to need it. 

The insurance isn't really that great a deal.  I bought this phone 14 months ago and paid $9.99 per month - $140.  And I paid a $199 deductible.  So for a refurbished phone I just paid $340.  I'll bet nobody lost money here other than me. 

Bottom line here is that I and I alone broke my phone, and it's really not anybody's problem.  But I wish the real Verizon Wireless - the one I pay each month, not its supplier or vendor or whatever -- would step forward be more helpful in this situation.  Verizon Wireless has by FAR the best network in New York, but you've got to be willing to tolerate some run around if you are as rough on your phones as I am.  I'll be more careful now, I promise. 

Oh, and I promise to throw style to the wind and buy one of those tacky otter boxes.  But I'll be sure to buy one at an Apple store.