Backup assistant instructions -- Alice in Wonderland?

[dragonscribe]

I want to back up my contacts, I searched the Verizon website for instructions on how to download Back up Assistant on my LG VS920. I began with the "How to Use Guide" at http://support.verizonwireless.com/support/how_to_use/backup_assistant.html?lid=sayt&sayt=backu* 

It gives a link to the Backup Assistant Media Store page which turns out to be a page for buying ringtones, nothing to do with Backup Assistant that I can tell,

Then it gives instructions on how to get BUA on a Blackberry or a Basic Phone. What's a Basic Phone? What do I do if I have neither a Blackberry nor a Basic Phone? The Basic Phone instructions say to go to "Get It Now" or "Media center" and shows screen shots that don't look like my Spectrum at all,

Searching the site for "Backup Assistant vs920" yields instructions for a VS910. These begin by telling me to open the Apps tab which is on the lower left -- directly above a screen shot which shows said tab on the lower right, which matches my phone, It then says to find BUA under "Tools" which is not a category I can find anywhere.

Eventually I did find the BUA icon, and found way down in some fine print that if I want to back up my contacts, I should access BUA through the phone settings or phone book. Under settings there is a "Back up and Reset" selection which has an option to back up app data, Wi-Fi passwords and other settings, Does this include contacts? Who knows?  The "phone book" turns out to mean the "Contacts" tab and from the contact list if you hit the hardware button on lower left, you get an option for "Backup Now." If you select this there is no indication that anything at all is happening, Is it backing anything up? What is it backing up? To where? Is this BUA or something else? Can I set a schedule, or do I have to do it manually every time? Where are instructions for retrieving whatever is backed up?

While going through this, I did not actually see a White Rabbit, nor did I eat any mushrooms.(even though they might have offered some clarity.) However, if I had found the guy who wrote these instructions I might have imitated the Red Queen by yelling "Off with his head!"